Shameimaru Mishaps Award

This short mishap is created in similarity to Aya’s “Reporter of the year” video, where the anons (sin sacks) totally mess her speech up and tick her off.

It’s a beautiful day in Gensokyo, and everyone is gathering at the Hakurei Shrine for a grand celebration... A congratulatory celebration for Aya’s success with her impeccable photography, and amazingly written stories, all for her very own paper, the Bunbunmaru Newspaper. Some tengu, some kappa, the Scarlet Devil herself, the Myouren Temple, some villagers, the history teacher, Entei, Yuka and her lackeys, Elly and Kurumi, Hakugyokurou, the Goddesses of the Moriya Shrine... All have gathered here, and are sitting by some rather uncomfortable seats, all waiting for Aya to give her speech, all glaring quietly toward the podium. Rika is making sure that everything is properly and place, and that everyone is as comfortable as possible, while Reimu, Rinnosuke, Nitori, and The Rabid Karate Night Sparrow, prepare the podium where Aya will give her speech. Finally, Nitori connects two large black speakers to the microphone, then flips her thumb up, then Reimu, who stands by the podium, taps the microphone, making sure it’s not too loud, nor too low, then clears her throat, holding a stack of papers on her hands, then says “welcome everyone. Today we are gathered here to show our support to Gensokyo’s best... and only... news reporter. She has gone through many hardships, but has finally achieved a high status... well actually it’s quite normal, but this is that tengu, so we can’t expect any more from her.” Everyone laughs, except for Rika, who stares reprehensively toward her mistress while placing her hands on her hips. The RKNS approaches Reimu, then chirps something in her ear, then Reimu clears her throat, then says “as I was saying. We are here to show our support and all that stuff I just said before to Gensokyo’s very own... Aya Shameimaru!” Reimu claps her hands twice, then is followed by a few others, and when Aya reaches the podium, her hair left long, showing off her pointy ears, and now wearing a self-made press badge around her arm, everybody claps without moving their hands at all. Right underneath the podium, where Aya can’t see a thing, Rika turns on a machine that sounds like everyone is cheering and applauding while flipping her thumb up to Nitori, who responds with an obviously forced thumbs-up as she looks disapproving of this.

When Rika turns her machine off, Aya takes a deep breath and everyone shouts “SHAMEIMARU!!!” Aya sweats and smiles, then whispers “um... thanks” then takes another deep breath, and the RKNS flies by, chirping loudly, followed shortly by Reimu who’s carrying many cables and accidentally tangles one of them around Aya’s neck, knocking Aya down and shouting “sorry!”, from the distance. Aya gets up from the ground with Rika’s help, who bows and flaps her wings, then quickly gets off the small stage. The tengu approaches the podium, then looks all around, waits for anyone to speak, then after making sure nobody would bother her she says “hello everybody, and thank you all for being here. My name is Aya Shameimaru, and I would like to thank you all for coming here to celebrate the success...” Remilia springs off her seat and shouts at the top of her lungs “I WANNA SEE SOME SKIN, TENGU!!!” The village men start talking amongst themselves, murmuring incoherently, then only words that come through are the words “hot, underwear, and mini-skirt.” Aya blushes and says “n-now now, please this is a serious event. I’m not going to...” The villagers suddenly shout “Shameimaru Aya~!”, followed by Tewi shouting “ayayaya~~!”, then in an instant, Aya is wearing a white two-piece swimsuit, which gets the attention of the RKNS, who takes as many pictures as possible while bleeding through his nose and chirping excitedly, before Aya realizes what’s going on, yelps and hides behind the podium. The village males all smiles while bleeding through their noses, then Sakuya and Remilia high-five, Sakuya looking infinitely satisfied. Rika rushes in her Soraogan mode toward Aya and quickly wraps her wings around the tengu, and after a moment, Aya springs back up, wearing her regular clothes, then the spectators all shout angrily as Rika leaves the area, the males in particular, looking sad and saying “AWWW~”, one of them whispering a sad “Shameimaru.”

After shaking off her embarrassment, Aya says “p-please, this is a serious occasion. Behavior like this will get us absolutely nowhere!” Aya looks around, staring concernedly at the audience in front of her, then takes a deep, relaxing breath of air, then says “like I was saying... Thanks to all your support, the Bunbunmaru has reached a new height, but there is still a long road to tread before my paper is...” A large round disk that looks like it’s sending large beams of color inside itself with a small hole in its middle slowly rises from behind Aya, and when the light reflects on it, Okuu screams out loud and flies away along with Petal, who caws loudly. Aya raises an eyebrow, then looks behind her. When she sees the giant CD she freezes in a panic, then suddenly pops her magical wings out of hiding and screams out loud as she flies away. Reimu hides behind the giant disk, trying her best to suppress her laughter, but she lets out a giggle, regardless of her efforts. Rika rushes by, holding her family sword tightly in her hands, then starts cutting the disk as quickly as she can. Reimu runs away, still giggling, while Rika cuts the disk, then approaches the RKNS and whispers something. After the disk becomes small shards, Rika calls “miss Aya, it’s gone!”

While Rika sweeps the shards away, Aya stands in front of the podium again, trembling while she looks around, then takes a deep breath of relief, then says “s-sorry about that. Umm, a-anyway, I wanted to also thank you all for, particularly you, girls of Gensokyo, for your cooperation in the preparation and distribution of the Youkai-Girls of Gensokyo album included in the latest copy of my newspaper.” The girls in the seats glare unblinking at Aya, some blushing and looking embarrassed, and others clenching their teeth and showing great displeasure, while the men, including Kyo, all smile and flip their thumbs up to Aya, however Kyo promptly receives a bash on the skull by Luna, who then turns her rage-filled attention towards Aya. The tengu notices the many glares and nervously says “err... if... if it wasn’t for your incredible beauty and confidence in yourselves, the album might have been a failure. Th-thank you very much...” Youmu shouts “so you ADMIT to taking those pictures!?” Aya stutters, then Reisen says “that’s ALL I needed to hear! You’re going to JAIL, bird!” Aya panics, then Momiji approaches Aya with a very serious look, and after placing her arm on Aya’s shoulder, she says “you’re coming downtown, miss pervert!” Aya stutters “bu-bu-bu-bu...” The RKNS comes flying down, carrying with him a large yellow disk with a red center, then swoops after Aya, who quickly panics and screams, sprouting her wings again and flying away as fast as possible. Momiji blows on a loud silver whistle, then shouts “AFTER HER!” Momiji and two more tengu chase after Aya and the RKNS, and after that comes Rika, shouting “wait just a moment! She’s under contract! Miss Aya, come back and finish your speech!” Satori covers Okuu’s and Petal’s eyes in the meantime, saying “no, no. You shouldn’t watch such things” While Aya is away, Reimu, with a large smirk on her face, starts working on something around the podium, making many hammering and sawing sounds.

Rika returns with the shivering Aya and places her behind the podium again, then holds a piece of paper with Reimu’s signature on it, stopping Momiji and the other tengu from getting to Aya and saying “until her speech is finished, she STAYS right there”. Rika approaches Aya and says “I’ll try to find a way to save you, so just finish that speech.” Aya gulps and trembles, then says “y-y-y-yeah... th-the speech. Heh heh!” Aya looks around with a terrified expression, then gulps and relaxes herself, then takes a deep breath and Yuka says “what a pervert!” Aya shouts “hey, I’m NOT a pervert!” From the other side, a villager shouts “AYA, MARRY ME~!” Aya sweats and wants to shout back, but Flandre shouts “SHAMEIMARU~”, followed by Koakuma, who shouts “Aya-chan!!!”, then both Koakuma and Flandre giggle while holding their mouths with their hands. Aya sighs and quickly says “and so, I wanted to thank you all for...” The audience starts clapping and cheering, then Aya looks around and smiles, her cheeks turning pink as she rubs the back of her head, repeating “um, thank you.... thank you very much. Heh, thank you, but please, let me... eh?” Aya turns around and to her left is an enlarged picture of her behind while wearing the swimsuit before, and to her right, an enlarged picture of her chest, and right above her, an enlarged full-body picture of her, blushing right after realizing she’s wearing the piece. Aya’s eyes hide under a dark shadow as she stares back at the large pictures, then Rika flies by, holding her sword tightly as she turns all the pictures into hardly recognizable shreds. Meanwhile, Reimu and the RKNS exchange albums of Aya’s bikini shots for some small donations.

After recovering herself, though looking aggravated now, Aya approaches the microphone again, then says “LIKE... I was saying... Thanks to EACH and every one of you, and I hope you’ll keep supporting me on my NEXT album, which will feature...” Suddenly, Aya is wearing tight black clothes with spiked armbands, a spiked neckband, white and black paint all over her face, and screaming her lungs out while holding on to a black and white guitar, sticking out her tongue while playing the instrument, keeping it above her head. The Prismriver sisters quickly join in and start playing along with Aya. The tengu’s hair turns frizzy and puffy, hiding her pointy ears underneath it, then she starts shouting to the microphone and apparently singing while doing so. Aya suddenly stops and looks around, then looks at herself in a mirror that Reimu places just as Aya looks. The tengu gasps, her face fills with great shock and surprise as she trembles at the sight. She looks around her and notices the many lights behind her and the Prismriver sisters flying away from the small stage. Aya turns to the podium, takes a deep breath, her face turns red with rage, then she suddenly lifts the guitar and screams again, however this time in a rage, as she smashes the instrument with all her might against the podium, the stage, the lights, the speakers, then tosses the remaining pieces of the instrument toward Remilia, who grabs it with a smile on her face and shouts “FIGHT~~!” Everyone in the audience, even the villagers, grab the nearest thing they can find and start throwing it around, while Rika flies to Aya and covers her up with her wings. Meanwhile, Reimu, Koishi and the RKNS hide behind the shrine, all suppressing their laughter while the mess continues out front. Koishi takes a quick breath and says “let’s see what I can do next...”

After everything settles again, Aya stands by the podium and stares at everyone present before she takes a deep breath, then quickly says “so thank you very much for you support, and I hope you keep supporting me and my paper when I release my Double Spoiler collection, feature the beautiful and sexy curves of the many hot girls living in this land called Genso...kyo...” When Aya realizes what she just said, she notices the many girls, all preparing their spells while glaring back at her. Aya panics and shouts “WAIT! Not that! It’s danmaku! I meant the BEAUTIFUL DANMAKU... with so many sexy curves and silky skinned goddesses and.. WAAAAH!!! What’s going on!?” The girls from the audience quickly unleash their danmaku straight at Aya, who takes her camera and takes a quick picture, opening a large gap between the danmaku in which she can escape, but before she flies away, Rika shouts “JUST FINISH IT!” Aya grabs the microphone before lifting to the sky and says “so to thank you all for your kind support...” She stops and takes another picture to save herself from the wall of danmaku, then continues “...in tomorrow’s issue I’ll be releasing the Cute Boys of Gensokyo Collection!” The danmaku stops, the girls stop attacking, then there’s only silence. Rika sighs and says “we would have avoided so much if you would have just told them that earlier.” From the shrine, Reimu stares at the RKNS and shouts “you didn’t tell me that, you creep!” The RKNS tweets, then quickly flies away.

Back in front, the girls all murmur as they talk to each other, while Aya takes a deep breath of air from the podium and says “thank goodness that’s over.” From the side, Momiji says “great, so the speech is now over. Aya Shameimaru...” From the audience and man shouts “SHAMEIMARU~~!” Momiji and Aya look around for a moment, then Momiji continues “you are here-by under arrest for being such a dirty pervert.” Rika shouts “HOLD IT!”, then walks to Momiji. She stares peacefully at Momiji and asks “didn’t you, miss Momiji Inubashiri, help miss Aya with the task of editing the pictures, where you also commented that me and my lady Reimu looked great in leotards?” Rika adds in an undertone “so embarrassing...” Momiji twitches and sweats, her eyes hidden under a dark shadow as she stutters, looking for an excuse, but she and Aya find themselves cuffed together, then Rika says “sorry, it’s the best I could find. But don’t worry. They’ll let you off with some community service.” Aya and Momiji sigh, then Aya says “geez, at least we won’t have to stay in prison, where the silky curves and ample bosoms make me shiver uncontrollably while I squeeze my face in them-WAAH~!” Aya’s face turns blue when she realizes what she’s saying, then shouts “what the hell is this!? Momiji! Momiji!! Don’t leave me alone in there!” Momiji tries to run away, folding her ears down and saying “no, miss Aya! Keep away from me!” Aya and Momiji get carried away by the tengu while Aya cries “I’m not a pervert~!” Momiji cries “someone save me from this pervert~!” The audience is now leaving as Rika looks up toward Aya and Momiji, then asks “did I do the right thing? I mean, she DID steal those pictures right from under our noses.” Sitting beside the podium with an innocent smile on her face, Koishi says “you’re a very good girl. Of course you did the right thing.” Rika turns to Koishi and exclaims “oh no! I forgot to give miss Petal her gift and apologize to miss Satori!” Koishi playfully says “no you didn’t. But I won’t let you do that yet. That’s for another chapter.” Koishi then sighs and adds “I’m going to miss that tengu. She has a very fun subconscious mind.” Rika smiles and sweats while staring at Koishi, then nervously says “please don’t make us do bad things.” From under the stage floor, Yuki pops out and shouts “HI EVERYBODY~!” then a golden washtub falls on her head, knocking her out with a smile on her face as she drools and twitches on the floor.

The end

Characters, Spell Cards and Scenario belong to ZUN -Team Shanghai Alice-
Kyo, Luna and the RKNS were created by Willie G.R.
Rika Onkamikami was created by Snapshot 2010

MAR 10 2010
Written by
Willie G.R.

A/N
A short mishaps for miss Aya as to congratulate her on her new game, Double Spoiler. I know I will be cursing and rage-quitting the game LONG before I can see much of it, but still... congratulations miss Shameimaru. I really enjoyed writing this small mishap here, and I hope you liked reading it!