Thursday, February 18, 2010

Dollhouse Mishaps Featuring Shinki

It’s a quiet wintery dawn at the Forest of Magic. The snow is slowly beginning to melt away, nourishing the land with plenty of water and minerals for the return of spring. Alice Margatroid exits her house on her own, leaving the door slightly open so that Shanghai and Hourai can follow her after waking up. The magician puppeteer heads to the forest with a small brown basket on hand, her black grimoire inside the basket, and a smile on her face, and right after she’s out of sight, Shanghai and Hourai exit the house. Shanghai hurriedly says “Hourai, you always take too long! Mom’s already in the forest! Come on!” Hourai yawns as she flies out the door and somberly closes it with a strong push, then yawns and says “I saw a kitty the size of the house in my dream.” Shanghai stares blankly at her for a moment, then snaps out of her surprise and says “come on, we have to catch up to mama Alice!” In a small clearing hidden between tall trees and bushes, Alice is happily collecting leaves, twigs and some really rare mushrooms with magical properties. There’s strange chirping around her, but she disregard it, thinking it’s just some passing birds. She blinks and says to herself “wait a minute? Why’s my sight turning dark so sud...” She quickly stands up defensively, taking her grimoire in hand and pulling a spell card from under her capelet then shouts “what do you want with me, miss eel-cart vendor!?” There is no reply and the bird’s song only gets louder. Alice’s vision diminishes, but she manages to sense where the night sparrow is, so she summons 5 dolls around her, points at the trees directly in front of her and shouts “Curse Sign – Hourai Doll!” The 5 dolls position themselves in front of Alice’s hand and all fire a single purple beam each, destroying many branches from the trees and successfully quieting the bird and regaining her full vision. The dolls fall on the ground as Alice calms down and stands up straight, pushing a few strands of hair away from her face and saying “well that’s that.” She turns around to pick up her basket, and the moment she touches it, the Rabid Karate Night Sparrow flaps its wings and furiously chirps as he flies out of the basket, holding a pair of bloomers on his little claws. Alice yelps and falls on her seat, then starts to shiver as the little melting snow on the ground seeps through the fabric on her skirt. She looks at the bird and it’s prize then exclaims “wait! What in the name of...” Alice pats her thighs, gasps, blushes beet red and shouts “gi-GIVE THOSE BACK you pervert!!!” The RKNS flies in a circle, chirping contently and victoriously, displaying his prize with pride. Alice stands up in a rage and shouts “I’m going to COOK you for that!” Alice lifts both arms above her head, and there’s a ripping sound. Alice looks at the bird with surprise, then in complete shock. The little sparrow now has her underwear and her capelet, showing them to Alice with a smirk on his face. Shanghai and Hourai are just about to reach the clearing when Alice runs away past them, her face bright red, her eyes hidden under a shadows as she covers them with her forearm, crying and shouting “I’ll get back to you for that~!” Shanghai shouts “wait, mama!!” Shanghai looks to Hourai but quickly realizes she’s gone. She calls “Hourai, where did you go~ *sob*! Why did you all leave me alone like this!?” From the clearing, Hourai calls back “over here!” Shanghai nervously flies to the clearing and desperately looks for Hourai, spotting her on a tree branch, wrapped in a white cloth along with the night sparrow. Shanghai asks “Hourai, what are you doing?” Hourai looks very content as she wraps herself around Alice’s clothes some more, and with a smile on her tiny face she says “mama’s clothes are so warm.~” Shanghai gets annoyed, prepares a small beam, then shouts “mama Alice just ran away crying and you’re sleeping!?” She fires a beam at Hourai, misses, and breaks off the tree branch instead, and successfully and miraculously avoids getting crushed under it as it falls. Hourai falls down hard, still wrapped around Alice’s clothes, however the little sparrow is now gone. Shanghai asks “and where’s that bird?” Hourai replies “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

Shanghai and Hourai wander aimlessly around the Forest of Magic, diligently searching for the bird. Shanghai asks “Hourai, did you find him yet?” Hourai shakes her little head and says “all I could find was this rubbish.” From her pockets she pulls a ten thousand yen mark, a golden ring that after touching the ground it revives the entire area, making the place look like spring has just arrived, a picture of Kyo, Agava, who shouts “I’m free!”, then flies away, and finally she drops Shinki on the ground. Shanghai quickly exclaims “GRAMMA~~! Hourai, you found gramma!” Hourai stares at Shinki for a moment, smiles, then says “no wonder she looked so familiar!” Shinki stands up and says “Shanghai, Hourai, where’s Alice?” Shanghai takes a deep breath and says “mama Alice was crying because this bird took her underwear while she was still wearing it and after waking Hourai up for the second time we decided to hunt him down and make him apologize to mama Alice so she can stop crying again!” Shinki and Hourai stare with blank smiles at Shanghai for a moment, then Shinki suddenly frowns, scowls, and shouts “Alice!? Underwear!? Crying!? HIM~!? A boy saw my baby Alice’s unmentionables while she screamed for mercy!? This is an OUTRAGE!” Shanghai softly says “um, that’s not exactly right.” Shinki continues “alright girls! Let’s hunt this boy down and beat him up REAL GOOD! After that we’ll make him take responsibility and marry Alice!” Hourai asks “a wedding?” Shinki crosses her arms across her chest, closing her eyes while nodding and saying “why of course! If a man takes a woman’s innocence away, it’s only appropriate for that man to TAKE responsibility, and marry that woman, so they can live happily ever after in an enchanted castle full of flowers, and slowly fill it with lots and lots of darling grandchildren for me to visits and cuddle and care for. It’s going to be GREAT!” Shinki now holds her hands clapped together against her right cheek while her eyes twinkle with excitement. Hourai adds “Ooh~!! That sounds GREAT! So who’s the husband!?” While Shinki and Hourai elaborate, Shanghai stares at them, face palms herself, then sighs and says “somehow, this has become something completely different.” An 8 foot water wave courses by where Shinki and Hourai are, and now both wave their arms and scream for help as the watery wave drags them away. Shanghai stares casually and simply follows after them. Hiding behind the trees, the three mischievous fairies, Sunny Milk, Luna Child, and Star Sapphire, watch as the event takes place. Sunny’s eyes glint with a mischievous crescent smile and Star asks “when do we strike?” Sunny, in a wicked undertone replies “on the next scene *giggle*.” Luna looks away from the others and in a dreamy tone she says “let’s not fly away now. We might end up hurt.” A large block of ice falls next to Luna, scaring her into flying to the sky with a scream, and from the sky Cirno’s voice says “courtesy of the strongest!”

Alice walks out of her house wearing a fresh set of clothes and looking more relaxed. After closing the door she sighs loudly and says “what a mess. I left Shanghai, Hourai and my basket behind. Poor dears must be so worried. I better go pick them up.” Alice’s eyes open wide, her pupils shrink and her entire body shivers the moment a familiar chirp reaches her ears. She thinks of going back in, but she bravely faces away from her door, raises a fist in the air, then says “you leave me alone! I have to look for my girls!” Without Alice’s notice, a small beak reaches her left ear, and in a suave voice, the RKNS says “chirp, sweetie.” Alice yelps and jumps right out of her clothes, and like a blur, crashes right through the roof of her house. The little sparrow flies away toward the forest with a content look of accomplishment.

At a narrow road of the forest, Sunny says “I know I said ‘on the next scene’ but we had to pick Luna up. Star, are they coming?” Star looks around and says “they’re just ahead.” Sunny turns to Luna, who has her head full of bumps, then says “Luna, make sure they can’t hear a thing!” Luna looks annoyed and sounding even more annoyed she replies “I know what to do already!” Luna smirks mischievously and says “then let’s have a few laughs *giggle*” Meanwhile, Shinki leads the two dolls across the narrow road, saying “well, whether he has feathers or not, that monster still has to marry my Alice. It’s only the right thing to do.” Shanghai stutters “but, but gramma, it’s not like that-“ Hourai interrupts Shanghai, saying “I hope the cake is tasty!” Shinki stops right below the branch where the three fairies are, looks curiously at the two dolls, then asks “you two can eat? But aren’t you dolls?” Hourai hovers closer to Shinki, opens her mouth, then says “I have a tongue, so I can taste things!” Unheard by the three below, Sunny shouts “NOW!” Shinki feels as though something hits her left shoulder. When she looks, she has a white snake with a pink mouth hissing at her. Shinki’s hair stands on end as she shrieks and shouts “A SNAKE! Get it off, get it off! Yumeko, get it off!” Hourai suddenly screams “AHH! Your legs! My legs! Our legs!” Shinki is stepping on many of those white snakes while others are coiling their tails around Hourai’s waist and tiny legs, and at the same time, more snakes fall from the trees, one coiling around Shinki’s neck. The goddess from Makai panics and shouts “HELP! They’re going to eat me, HELP~~!” Hourai shouts “MAMA~ I’m scared! Mama, where are you!?” Shinki shouts along with Hourai “Alice! Alice, where are you!?” The three fairies giggle, then Star says “hey, why not throw in a black python!?” Sunny exclaims with excitement “great idea!” Before they can do anything, they notice Shanghai floating right in front of Sunny’s face. Sunny sweats, then asks “Luna, Star? Can this one see us?” Star shrugs and Luna says “well it’s not my fault! My powers are working just fine.” Shanghai smiles and waves her little hand at the fairy, who gasps and says “she can see us! How is that even possible!” Shinki and Hourai stop screaming after the snakes suddenly vanish, then Hourai exclaims “they weren’t real gramma!” Shinki takes deep breaths of relief and says “thank goodness. I wasn’t sure how to explain that one to Yumeko.” Both girls hug each other in a sudden fright when quick and continuous smacking sounds, along with three girls screaming in pain, fill the forest. Shinki and Hourai look up, then Shinki says “oh my, SHANGHAI!” Hourai exclaims “my goodness! Mama never taught us that!” From far behind, Shanghai asks “taught us what?” Hourai and Shinki double-take various times before looking up again, then back at Shanghai, then Shinki asks “how are you doing that!?” The three fairies fall from the branch and fall on top of Shinki and Hourai, and the ground below them rises to the heaven. Shanghai looks up as the large round chunk of earth flies away and is quickly replaced by another round chunk of earth that whirs its way back up, sealing the hole that had been left behind. Shanghai stares at the patch of ground and shrugs, then casually continues her way.

Back home, Alice finishes patching the hole on the roof of her house with a few boards. She wipes her forehead with her arm and says “well, that was a hassle, but it’s done. Now time to look for my...” Alice’s stomach growls so loud, the ladder she stands on shakes a little. Alice blushes and says “guess I’m a little hungry. Alright, a quick apple and I’m off to look for my girls.” As she goes down the ladder she says to herself “oh, I know they are strong, but I can’t help but worry for them.” Alice goes to her kitchen, grabs and apple from a basket on her table, then says “this should do... whoops!” Alice drops her apple on to the sink which is full of dirty dish water. She tries to grab it before it falls in, but misses. The apple bounces on the water, then goes back to Alice’s hands. Alice stares at the water with shock and curiosity, and nervously she pokes it with her finger. It sinks right in. Alice stares at the apple, then says “maybe I’ll have another apple.” She places the apple on the table and as her hand reaches for another apple, Alice yelps and her hand disappears, followed by a loud crunching sound. From the roof, Sakuya’s voice says “ooh~! I fell through the roof again.” Alice storms into the kitchen, gasps when she notices the hole on the roof, then shouts “what the hell!? But I just fixed the roof!!”

At the forest, on a wide road full of bushes and tall trees, the three fairies prepare another trap. Star and Luna stand on the left side of the road, looking worried and a bit tired. Luna asks “Sunny, are you sure you want to try again? That doll saw right through us!” Sunny stands on the right side behind a bush. She peeks her head from under it glaring daggers at her two friends, then shouts “that was a random mishap! Nothing more! Now GET ready, you two! STAR!?” Star flinches, then says “th-they’re coming, they’re coming!” Sunny glares at the two fairies and says “good, now HIDE!” Sunny sinks back inside the bush while Star finds a bush next to her and hides under it, and Luna runs behind a tree. From the distance, Hourai shouts “GET HIM!” The RKNS flies right through the path where the fairies are at such speeds, the fairies aren’t certain if they saw something. Shinki and Hourai fly after him, Shinki shouting “come back you fiend! You have to marry my daughter!” From father ahead the sparrow can be heard chirping rapidly, then Shinki replies “ALICE IS SEXY you fool!” Just as Shinki and Hourai fly by, Sunny shouts “GOT YOU!” In the blink of the eye the trees around the area fall down hard, trapping under them Shinki, Hourai, Sunny and Star. Away from the wreckage, Shanghai and Luna stand on the ground, staring at their fallen allies with neutral expressions. Shanghai prepares to speak, but the ground in front of them explodes, sending all the fallen trees and youkai flying to the air. The trees all fall upright in place, then fall Shinki, then Star and Sunny, and last is Hourai, each on top of the other. Shanghai and Luna continue to stare, then the RKNS swoops down, grabs Shinki and the girls, then tosses every single one of them away like a bag of garbage, and with that he chirps contently and flies away. Luna and Shanghai’s bellies rumble, then Luna asks “you like coffee?” Shanghai nods and says “some sweet bread would be nice too.”

Alice has finished patching the second hole on the roof and is now running as fast as she can back to the forest. As she runs with a determined face, she thinks “Shanghai, Hourai, I’m so sorry for leaving you behind like that! Don’t you worry, though! Mama’s coming for you!” Alice feels as though her face and her entire body is being crushed against two walls, then falls on her back on the ground. She rubs her head and says “ow, ow, ow, ow. What just happened?” In front of her is an elegant dual-door cabinet that’s making many bumping sounds from within, as well as jumping in place. Alice flinches and quickly backs away then gets annoyed and shouts “what in blazes is going on around here?! Where did this THING come from, and WHY IS IT SO NOISY!?” Alice grabs the doors and quickly pulls them open. The RKNS burst out from within, follow by the cackling Remilia, who holds a fork and a knife and wears a bib with a cooked chicken picture. Remilia chases after the sparrow and shouts “HOLD STILL! This will only hurt the first three bites!!!” The sparrow stops in mid-air and confidently points above toward the sun. Remilia narrows her eyes as she glares at him, then growls and says “you win THIS round!” Remilia flies back down then enters the cabinet, which closes right behind her. From inside she screams “WAH~!!! Get me OUT of here!” Alice quickly opens the two doors and out bursts Alice, wearing a light-blue swimsuit with white frills around the thighs. She looks around disoriented and asks “am I finally home?” She gently passes her hands around the ground under her and sounding crazed she shouts “I FINALLY MADE IT! I’m HOME~!! Shanghai, Hourai! I’m home!” A watery wave quickly passes by, trapping Alice in its watery currents, but the puppeteer stands on a board and surfs the wave as it heads inside the forest. Excitedly, Alice shouts “Oh-ho YEAH! This is just like Mai-Waii!”

Lost in the deepest parts of the forest, Shanghai, Hourai, Shinki and the three little fairies look for a way back to the road. Shinki, Hourai and Star are having an argument about a proper wedding for Alice and the little sparrow, which Shinki still believes is a young youkai in disguise. Sunny is lost in her own thoughts, trying to figure out how her powers keep failing around Shanghai, and Shanghai and Luna are quietly following, since every time they try to suggest something they are either ignored, or Shinki turns a simple word into another wedding argument. The party stops on their tracks when the song from a bird reaches them. Shinki exclaims “it’s him! Alice’s fiancé!” Sunny grabs Luna and pushes her in front, saying “don’t let that thing near me!” Star says “I can’t sense him anywhere! What’s going on!?” Hourai asks “what’s a ‘fiancé’ gramma Shinki?” Shinki smiles motherly toward the curious doll, but before she can answer, Sunny shouts “he’s in front!” The RKNS swoops down using all his speed, ready to strike the entire party; Shinki prepares a spell card, Hourai readies herself with a large lance, and the three fairies embrace each other, trembling in fear and cheering on Shinki and Hourai. Everyone is ready, the sparrow is in reach, then a large water monster passes right between them, carrying a screaming Remilia spinning in its belly, then casually leaves the scene. Everyone stares awestruck, then an 8-foot wave passes by and drags the party along with it, all screaming for help and waving their arms in the air. Shanghai stands 2 inches away from all the mess and looks at the RKNS from across the road. The bird shakes of the shocked face, then points at Shanghai menacingly and then flies away, chirping victoriously. The little doll sighs, now holding a first-aid kit on her hands, and as she casually flies after her friends she says to herself “it’s alright, Shanghai, it’s ok. Someone’s probably practicing a new spell. Yeah, that’s it... A runaway spell.”

Meanwhile, Alice Margatroid, who somehow changed into her regular winter clothes, walks into the clearing where she first met the perverted little sparrow. She finds her basket and quickly looks all around, but can’t find Shanghai or Hourai anywhere. She takes a deep breath of air and as loudly as she can she calls “Shanghai~!! Hourai~~!! Where are you!?” There’s no answer. Alice’s heart beats heavily as she asks herself “where could they be? I swear, if something’s happened to them I’ll never forgive my...” A few peaches roll by from the left to the right in front of Alice. She stares on as the very last peach, a really small one, rolls away, seemingly whimpering as it does. Alice sweats and stares at the mushrooms she had picked up earlier inside her basket with fear. She casually picks them and with a smile on her face she tosses them away and in a crazed tone of voice she says “ah-hahaha! I don’t need this!” The second the mushrooms touch the ground, a red and dark-grey mushroom with purple dots the size of a house grows under Alice, sending her airborne in an instant. The RKNS flies by and notices she’s wearing a swimsuit under her clothes, so after blowing some blood out of his nose, he takes a few pictures, then flies away with an elated look on him and without being noticed. While on the air, Alice looks around the forest, then points and shouts “ah-hah~! There they are!” She impulses herself to fly to them, but the water monster, which still has the screaming Remilia trapped inside his belly, falls from above and gobbles Alice up as well, then continues his fall.

Deeper inside the forest, Shanghai, Shinki and Hourai continue on their search. Sounding suspicious and slightly annoyed, Shanghai says “those three fairies were too eager to leave, if you ask me.” Hourai replies “I know. They didn’t even want dessert!” Shinki adds “just let them be. We have Alice’s husband to hunt!” Shanghai sighs and slumps as she flies closer to Shinki and says “and would it help if I tell you that’s not what I said in the first place?” Shinki smiles and says “once you see the bright smile on Alice’s shining face you’ll see this is all worth it.” Shanghai sighs again, but both she and Shinki shriek when Hourai screams a bloody scream. A giant bear youkai the size of the trees threatens to claw the little doll as it swings it’s large claws in front of itself and roars menacingly. Shinki shouts “GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BEAST!” Shanghai shouts “no wait! That’s not.... GRRR~!” Shinki grab Hourai and bravely gets in between the doll and the bear and shouts “you-you-you l-l-l-leave her alone, you big... big... WAAAAAHH~!” Hourai and Shinki try to run away from the bear, only to realize there is a giant black python blocking their escape. Shinki shouts “WAIT A MINUTE! I am the goddess from Makai! There is NO WAY two bulking monsters like you can scare me!” The bear roars loudly and the snake hisses menacingly. Shinki shrinks the size of Hourai and says “er, nice lungs mister bear.” Chibi Shinki and Hourai hug each other tightly as the two monsters get closer, then stop and vanish. Shinki regains her size and shouts “for the love of nature, what IS all this!?” Behind them are Star and Luna, both looking terrified at Shanghai, who is dealing great pain to Sunny. Shinki and Hourai share the terror of the fairies, then Shinki comments “oh-no! That’s a figure-4 leg-lock! How is that even possible!?” There’s a loud crack and Sunny’s bloody scream. The other four cover their faces with their hands, then Hourai peeks through her fingers and says “oh my goodness! That’s the Camel Clutch! She’s going to break her in half!” There is another loud cracking sound and Sunny’s bloody scream. Shinki gulps as she looks, then says “HOW HORRIBLE!!! She’s finishing her off with a three-story pile driver! Oh my!” Everyone looks away just before there is a very loud thud and another crack. Shanghai hovers above the unconscious Sunny, dusting her hands and saying “I’m getting REALLY tired of this, so please, follow my lead! I wish to go home already.” Shinki is about to complain, but Shanghai glares at her through the corner of her eyes, so she keeps quiet and follows behind the little doll along with the others, who are carrying Sunny Milk with them. Shanghai closes her eyes, thinking everything will be well now that they are headed home. Behind her, short swords spring from under the ground, missing the party by mere inches, the ground flips around, then there’s an explosion underground. Shanghai sighs and shakes her head, then says to herself “let’s just go home already.” At the Palace of the Earth Spirits, the three fairies, the doll and the goddess from Makai sit around the long table enjoying a cup of tea each, and Satori, looking slightly annoyed, bangs her hands on the table and asks “again, could you repeat how exactly did you get here?!”

It’s now noon and Alice walks back to her house. She’s tired, her clothes are dirty and in tatters, part of her swimsuit is showing through the large missing chunk form the right side of her skirt, she keeps hearing clicking camera sounds but finds nothing, and she lost the swimsuit contest at the village. She says to herself “I couldn’t find them *sob*. My poor dolls.” She arrives to her house and looks at it, saying “this isn’t going to feel like home anymore... not without them. Oh well. There’s not much I can do now, but pray for their safety.” She reaches for the door and is immediately blown away by Shinki, who opens de door form inside and shouts “ALICE~~! Your home~!” Sitting on the ground, Alice says “ow, ow~! Mom? When did you get here!?” Shinki sweats and honestly says “oh, I’m not sure. But please, come in! We got a surprise for you!” Alice rubs her head as she gets up and annoyed she asks “another surprise...?” She opens her eyes wide and gasps, then asks “wait, did you say ‘we’? Are Shanghai and Hourai with you!?” From inside the house both dolls burst out, shouting “MAMA~! You’re home!” They hug Alice’s neck and rub their cheeks against hers, making Alice giggle happily. Alice looks confused for a moment, so she pulls them away then looks at them and asks “and where have you been all day? I was worried sick after I... um... I... I’m sorry I left you guys behind like that. Please forgive me.” Some tears escape her eyes, and the dolls simply hug her tightly and Shanghai says “it’s alright mama! It’s not your fault!” Hourai adds “it was that mean birdie!” Shinki winks at Alice, then points at the house and shouts “but do not worry, Alice-chan! WE have caught that monster and he’s waiting to MA-“ Alice and Hourai yelp, then Shinki looks at where they were just standing, but they are gone. She notices Shanghai playing tag with Luna Child, giggling contently while tagging each other continually. Shinki asks “Shanghai, where are Alice and Hourai?” Shanghai and Luna shrug, then continue playing, while Shinki thinks “this is no good. The chapter isn’t over, but there’s little light of hope.” At the Palace of the Earth Spirits’ garden, Alice and Hourai lie on a flower bed, smiling contently while closing their eyes. Satori stares at them with a slightly annoyed expression, then shouts “AGAIN!?”

While entering Alice’s house, Shinki says “and so, we caught your husband-to-be!” Alice opens her eyes wide in surprise and says “whoa-whoa-whoa!!! Husband!?” Shinki says “didn’t you get your innocence stolen this morning?” Alice shouts “MOM!? Who the hell told you THAT!?” Before Shinki answer, Shanghai grabs a large hammer and knocks Shinki out, then says “I only told her that bird took your underwear. That was all!” Shinki gets up, rubbing the bump on her head and crying “but I didn’t do it on purpose.” Alice asks “so what happened?” With a quick “RIGHT” from Shinki, Hourai, Shinki herself and Shanghai stand straight on the ground beside each other, then Shinki says “we have caught the dreadful monster and we are going to MAKE him apologize to you RIGHT now!” Behind them are the three mischievous fairies, who hold the golden cord to a pink curtain. They pull on the cord and reveal the dual-door cabinet, bumping and jumping in place. Alice tries to run away, but Shinki grabs the doors with a smile and says “and now, it’s WEDDING TIME!!” She opens the door and out bursts a party inside Alice’s house, with all her friends invited too, including Marisa and Patchouli. At night, after the last party guest leaves, Shanghai asks Alice “mama, did we forget something?” Shinki gasps and says in surprise “you’re RIGHT! I didn’t tip that nice eel-cart sparrow for the delivery!” Shanghai’s eyes hide under a dark shadow as she stares at Shinki, who suddenly falls down a hole. At the Underground Cave entrance, Yamame finishes wrapping a large fresh catch inside a cocoon, then happily crawls away, saying “I’m saving you for breakfast.” From inside, a pair of claws quickly cut free from the cocoon, then Ran lands on the ground and sounding very angry she says “SERIOUSLY! How did I EVER end up in there!? I’m not even in this one! I mean, am I Alice? Am I one of her dolls? NO, I’m not! Stupid story *grumble grumble* No base, now flow... It’s all a BIG mess!” Ran exits the cave, blowing off steam from her ears and grumbling some more.

Midnight at Alice’s house. Alice, wearing a light blue pajama with pink frills around the sleeveless arms and the lower trim, walks somberly out of her room for a glass of water. As she walks to the kitchen, she is unsettled by the sound of scratching just above her head on the ceiling. She rolls on the ground and bravely faces up, then says in a commanding tone “who’s there!? Show yourself!” There’s a soft chirp, then Alice rushes to turn on two lights in the living room and gets a good view of the RKNS, perching on a lose board on her ceiling. She growls and says “you better apologize for what you did to me!” The little sparrow lifts his right leg and lifts the middle finger, while pulling down on his left lower-eyelid with his other claw, managing to somehow stand on the wooden board. Alice’s face turns red in rage, then she somehow holds her grimoire now and shoots danmaku directly from her own hand at the bird. The little sparrow flies all over the ceiling, making Alice miss all her shots, waking up Shinki, her dolls, and the three house guests. Worried, Shinki asks “Alice, what’s wrong?” Alice yelps and there’s a crunching sound. They all look up and find Alice upside-down on the roof with half of her torso stuck on it. Alice grunts then shouts “s-someone help me!” The little sparrow swoops down and breaks through a window. Sunny asks “what’s he doing now?” From outside, many clicking sounds and flashes make Alice cry and shout “no~! You mean bird, that’s not FUNNY! Waaah~! Stop that!” Shanghai causally flies up to Alice and says “this has gone long enough.” The tiny doll pulls Alice down, breaking her free, but causing her to crash on her head on the ground. She flies up the hole and for some time, there is silence. Shinki and Hourai rush to Alice to make sure she’s alright, and from outside the sparrow starts to chirp. There are smacking and ripping sounds, as well as loud chirps and feathers that float from the hole. Star flies to the hole, peeks outside, then quickly flies back down, her face turning green and holding her mouth with both hands as she rushes to the bathroom. More smacking sounds and loud chirps as a few pain-stars fall through the ceiling. Hourai casually floats close to one, touches it, then winces in pain and says “ow! That’s painful!”

It’s the crack of dawn. Shanghai holds the RKNS tied to some rope and in a strict and commanding tone she says “what do you say!?” Looking depressed, missing some head-feathers and wearing a few bandages around his tiny legs, the sparrow chirps sadly at Shinki and the fairies while bowing his little head. Shanghai turns him to Alice, then says “AND...!?” Again, the little bird lowers his head, bowing to Alice as he chirps sadly. Shanghai loosens her grip and the rope, then says “good. Now I’m going to let you go, but if I find you causing more trouble, I’m going to beat you up. Did I make myself clear?” The little bird nods and chirps sadly, then Shanghai keeps her word and releases him, letting him fly through the hole on the roof, which magically fixes itself after he leaves. Alice sweats and says “I swear, there’s something wrong about that.” Shanghai sighs and says to everyone in the room “and that’s that! That mean bird apologized, mama’s not crying anymore, and all is well.” Shinki adds “but now Alice is no longer pure. She can’t get married.” Alice’s face turns blue and asks “MOM!? What the hell are you saying there!?” Shinki is about to explain, but after blinking she realizes she’s inside a dark room, wearing Alice’s sleeping robes instead of her own. She notices a futon in the middle of the room with someone snoring in it. She cautiously approaches the futon and asks “Alice... i-is that you?” The covers pulls themselves off, revealing Yuugi lying sideway on the futon and resting her head on her arm as she asks “you want sake at these hours? You’re a REAL party animal!” Shinki’s hair stand on ends, her face turns a bit red, her eyes expand and her pupils shrink, then she screams a bloody scream that echoes all over the subterranean.

Early morning at the Youkai Mountain. Aya stands on a solitary corner, hiding behind some rocks and looking around expectantly. The Rabid Karate Night Sparrow manages to fly erratically with what feathers are left on his wings, then crashes on Aya’s head, knocking off her tokin. Aya says “ayayaya~! It seems you got caught. So does this mean you failed?” The little sparrow lifts his left wing and from underneath he pulls a large pack of pictures. Aya smirks and sounding impressed, she says “well~ you really did it! I am very impressed.” Aya pulls out a thick stack of money and says “here’s your pay.” The little sparrow takes the money and immediately hides it under his wing, then bows at Aya. The crow tengu flips through the pictures, and with a wicked grin on her face she says “very nice. With this, I am one step closer to completing my youkai-girls of Gensokyo issue!” Aya and the little sparrow laugh maniacally, then the little sparrow swoops down under Aya’s skirt, takes a few pictures, and long before she realizes what happened, he flies away. From the mountain, Aya’s raging voice echoes as she shouts “come back here you little traitor~~!” Meanwhile, at Alice’s house, Alice, Shanghai, Hourai and Shinki are preparing to bake a very special apple pie. While Shinki happily peels the apples, Hourai cuts them into pieces while Alice prepares the pan and sauce and Shanghai prepares dough. There’s a small tap on one of the windows and Alice asks “what was that?” Hourai replies “ooh! It’s the tooth-fairy!” Shanghai sweats and says “right... um, mom, let me go check. You guys keep making that pie, alright?” Shinki says “go ahead. We’ll just finish up here.” Shanghai flies out the front door and suspiciously looks around before heading toward the back of the house. She lands on the ground, then whistles softly. The RKNS flies from the trees, bearing a few pictures on his claws, then drops them at Shanghai, whose eyes glint brightly as she smiles widely and says “excellent. With these, I’ll make sure that pervert leave mom alone.” From inside, Alice calls “Shanghai~ Is everything ok?” Shanghai calls back “y-yes, everything’s ok!” Shanghai hides the pictures under her apron and heads back inside the house, however, the entire house falls down underground before she can enter it. She looks at the empty clearing, sighs, then says to herself “I’m so not believing this.” At the Palace of the Earth Spirit’s backyard, Satori looks extremely annoyed and surprised as she shouts with all her might “WHT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?” Alice’s entire house now lies right in front of her mansion. From farther away, Parsee watches and bites on her thumb, then says “a mobile home? I’m jealous!!”

The End
Characters, Spell Cards and Scenario belong to ZUN -Team Shanghai Alice-
Kyo, Agava and The RKNS were created by Willie G.R
FEB 18 2010
Written by
Willie G.R.

Just a quick reminder... I love all the Touhou characters. These mishaps are just a fun way to show my love for them *angelic smile*
Yes, I know. Shanghai is just pure win. She even owns that poor, evil, defenseless Rabid Karate Night Sparrow. Anyway, don’t worry, I’m not done here. There are still more mishaps to come, however I’ll first be working on Rika’s chapters (made by my friend) AND one my next Sukima. Been writing up many notes and I KNOW it’s going to be good, and... well I digress. Well, see you on my next mishap AND Suika.

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